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    21 January

    最近

    来了新加坡已经进入第四个月了。。。
     
    这里,并没有让我开心,我的生活没有我想象中美好,很多事情都出乎意料之外,
    常常因为受了委屈,而独自躲起来哭,
    也常常因为寂寞,而独自伤悲,
    难过的时候,并没有谁在身旁,
    孤独的我都安静的自我疗伤。。。
     
    工作上的不顺利,每天上班像行刑,无比难受,
    朋友间的友谊,感觉上都很脆弱,一碰就碎,好像水晶。
    三天两天的大吵大闹,我实在受不了,
    可以体谅一下我这单飞的孤鹰吗?让让我行吗?让我有呼吸的余地行吗?
    别对着我戳戳逼人行吗?我已经承受着无法承担的压力了。。。
     
    心情上的不协调,常常反复无常,
    别说朋友,连我自己都怕了我自己。。。
     
    最近,已经越来越沉默了,
    很多的事情都藏在心里面,
    昔日开朗的我去哪了???
     
    为什么没有人了解我?
    是不是大家都有各自的烦恼,根本没空!?
    我放弃了辩解的机会,
    心已死了,
    原来————
    人生不如意, 十之八九,
    明天醒来,日子一样要过————
    06 January

    我的妈妈。。

    我的妈妈,永远都在守护着我们,不论日子有多苦,任劳任怨。。
    妈妈,是我对不起你,我知道你不愿意我离开,我却没在乎你的感受,对不起,女儿不孝。
     
    犹记得——
     
    10岁的时候,挺着大肚子的妈妈,在巴士上把唯一的位子让给我,生妈妈气的我,毫不客气的马上坐下,妈妈还带着微笑的——
     
    12岁的时候,妈妈带我去办身份证,不懂感激的我,在众人面前对着妈妈大呼小叫,回家后的我,还认为理所当然——
     
    13岁的时候,家里的环境不好,妈妈仍尊重我的要求,让我进入了花费不低的私立中学。书本贵,杂费贵,课外活动费用也贵,要求捐钱的卡也多,不生性的我,爱玩爱炫耀,常常摊开手掌心要零用,又哭又闹的搞得妈妈绞尽脑汁——
     
    14岁的时候,妈妈因为逼不得已,在久未踏入社会的情况之下,开始在酒吧上夜班——不了解妈妈的苦心的我们,拒绝做家务的我们
    ,让妈妈在午夜时分拖着疲惫的身子,彻夜不眠的为我们把衣服洗了,妈妈哭了,第一次看见妈妈如此心痛,后悔不已的我,不知所措
    的,没有伸出双手——
     
    15岁的时候,结交了一班朋友,从此周末不见踪影,甚至因为思念而摇了通电话到朋友的家里对我说:“我好久没见过你了,快把你
    的样子给忘了,回家吧——” 心里烦厌的我不了解她的感受——
     
    17的时候,叛逆的我沉溺在五光十色的夜生活,一个星期七天,消失了五天,妈妈只求我能安全地回家,而我却彻夜未返,天亮了,回家了的我,对妈妈说好累,今天的学校免了——
     
    18岁的时候,无知的我很坚决地离开温暖的窝,只为了一个完全不值得的臭男人(真的很臭的),妈妈在毫无办法之下看着我离开,千叮万宁地要我好好照顾自己——
     
    20岁的时候,我带着历尽苍桑的心归来,妈妈雀跃不已的欢迎我的归来,但死性不改的我,横冲直撞的闯一大堆烂摊子让妈妈收拾,我听见妈妈的心片片凋零——
     
    21岁的时候,是我拿金钥匙的一年,家里的环境比以前好多了,我们姐妹有了自己稳定的工作,有各自的交通工具,同时买下了一栋旧房子进行维修,妈妈却同样的无法安心的辞去工作,尽心尽力的,为我们分担房子的负担——
     
    22岁的时候,日子过得很好,快乐,自由,妈妈原以为可以放下心头大石了,没想到我突发奇想,准备单枪匹马地去闯一闯世界——
    又一次的离开,又一次的让妈妈在最不情愿的情况之下成全我,让我追求自己的理想——
     
    每一年我的生日,妈妈都会包个小红包给我,其他姐妹在永远都在埋怨为什么她们没有——
    我知道妈妈最疼我了,任性的我总让她不知所措,,顽皮的我总让她担心,不懂人情世故的我总让她牵挂,爱闯祸的我总让她心痛,嗜
    酒的我总让她睡不着觉,时常夜归的我总让她左顾右盼,忠言逆耳的我总让她唠唠叨叨——
    我的一切一切,都让她无法放下心头——
     
    我赚的钱比妈妈多,付出的却少之又少,连家用都迟了给,或省略掉了——
    妈妈却从来没有怨言,自己辛苦挣的一分一毫都毫不吝啬地投资在我们这几个女儿的身上——
    我们在外,吃的是大鱼大肉,妈妈在内,吃的是粗茶淡饭——
    花在朋友身上的挥金如土,给妈妈的却如在身上割一块肉,想起来真惭愧——
     
    妈妈今年已51岁了,仍然任劳任怨的为我们付出,不求回报,花费了所有的花样年华在我们的身上——
    妈妈,我就快回家了,回到您身边伴着你,辛苦了半辈子,让我照顾你了——
    05 January

    想念你——

    如果能         像你一样那么忙碌就好了,那么我就不必对你       

    的 ——

    04 January

    Overall of year 2006

    Da time was passing sec by sec w/out our attention..
    Year 2007 right now sashaying.. welcomed by crowded with lots of jubilance & joyance..
    Year 2006 was ended silently..
     
    Overall for my past in Year2006.. Wat i have done?...
     
    January ~ HoneyMoon for me, i'd just clubbing & get drunk most of the day, fooling around, play the wanton.
    Celebrating Ronald's 22nd Birthday in spot pub.
    Met a handsome guy ~ Dennis~
     
    February ~ Chinese New Year, all frens were coming back from oversea, getting much more crazy, clubbing & gambling from sunset till sunrise..
    Met another little guy, 3 years younger then me ~Kok Hiung~
    Went to Kudat for 1 day trip with Ronald, Kuku & his gf.
     
    March ~ My sis finally attached, usually going sing k with her, bro, Ah Pin, Lawrance. Sometimes with snake & Ah Hiew.
    Kitman & Jillian 1st trip to Kota Kinabalu, take caring of them for this few days, & more concentrated on working.
    Yvonne ~ my pretty & young Ladyboss in JW, giving birth to a little son on 3rd of March.
     
    April ~ This month addicted on chatting, seldom hang out with frens.
    Yvonne's little son fullmoon, attending her dinner at Kingfisher with my eldest sis.
    Mami's 50th birthday, whole family incuding brother celebrating in Putra Restoraunt.
    Knewing few guys, Handsome de Eko, Nothing special de Jonathon, Friendly but not very NgamKey de Kevin, Funny de Ah Ching.
     
    May ~ Met up with new MSN fren-Dennis, a very talkative & kind de person.
    Bought a new mobile ~ SE/W550i
    1st experience - met police checking at RazzMaTazz, angry cos havent started drink then all environment lighten.
     
    June ~ A trip to KL, Cameron Highland, Genting Highland, Seremban. with mami, papa, fungfung & sinsin (Not really enjoyable cos met a wrong person)
    My 22nd Birthday & Kuku's 21st Birthday on 29th June ~ Celebration held at my house, BBQ Party, after that-Legend.
     
    July ~ Bboy came back from kl, Roger came back from Kuching, HuiEe came back from England, lots of happiness with them, together with JunHao, BitBit.
    Mostly everyday & night hanging out at Yoyo Cafe, Shanerigen's, Spot Pub.
    Met a stupid guy came from kl, thought himself is lengzai.. bothering me from day to night.
     
    August ~ Discussing with Kuku, KetVun, about to work in singapore.. they successfully persuading me, but all cancel their mind .. but i still keep on.
    Bought a return ticket for a trip to Singapore for interview.
    Ben Liew, Li Jin Shi, Paul Yong had came to Kota Kinabalu.
    1st time hang out with my hair stylist cum ex-schoolmate ~ Jazz
     
    September ~ Decided to work in Singapore, a busy entertaining month.  
    Hang out with Dennis(Spot Pub), Victor, JunHao, Snake.
    Last working day in JW, Farewell dinner in Gaya Sport with most of the colleague & Jeremy's frens.
    1st time hang out with Stephen, drinking red wine, a secret for only 2 of us for the ending, hehe....=)
    Confusing on leave or stay, finally held my farewell party at Black Jack K'ok on 30th.
     
    October ~ 1st, finally start my independence journey to Singapore, sobs sobs alone on the flight.
    5th, 1st working day, thought everything is fine, but everthing out of my control.. Boss not as nice as wat i thought, the wolf's tail shows & my hard journey started, temporary depends on Kok Tat.
     
    November ~ Everything get worst, scold by Boss until crying til home continuously for 3days, thanks for Stephen, giving me support during my blue-est period.
    1 wave havent stop, another wave came, i've been forcing to move to the appointed company's apartment with unfair condition.
    Thanks god for WeiRong's appearance at the right moment.
    The 1st night after move, i lost my way home middle in the night, walking alone on the lonesome way w/out seeing any living organism.
     
    December ~ Im sick for a whole month cant recover, even seen doctor.
    Sakura Buffet in Somerset with Tze Yin, Ken, San San, Kok Tat & Wei Rong. Steamboat Buffet with Wei Rong & his buddies.
    Having a movie during everybody countdown for Xmas, very disappointed, never such boring before.
    Bboy had come toSingapore, happy to meet up with him, non-stop shopping till time are not allowed anymore.
    Went to Genting on 30th, & went KL immediately on 31st, nice to meet up with Hing, had a really enjoyable & unexpected exciting countdown night with alots of frens together.
     
    Thx Hing~ 31st Dec 2006 is the most happiness night that i experienced after i went to singapore...
    i had forgot the joyful of clubbing after i went to singapore...
    i really feel unhappy in Singapore la...